Everybody Dead, Insane, and Alive Reads The Deathly Hallows
by WeasleyIsMyKing7
Summary: Dolores Umbridge was just trying to find away to Prove that Potter was lying. She got more than she bargained for when a mysterious book and orb show up. In this Crazy insane tale of a book, a orb and a formed love. Hermione finds that Fred and George are more than Pranksters and they realize that there's much more to the bookworm that meets the eye. R/R Rating may go up. No smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I pitifully proclaim that I own none of this material, except the plot and some individual characters I brought to life through sharp words and vivid descriptions.**

**Whoa, that sounded deep.**

**A/N:Hey Everyone I actually am making a story that's actually not every going to go on Hiatus (Unless my internet gets turned off) Yay! This story is probably never going to go anywhere. :) Because it starts out all posh and then it goes to mentally insane in the next chapter. It basically wrote itself. xD It's completely horrid in the next chapter...so confusing. I'm writing this because there is never EVER any fics that have everyone reading DH but it's a Fremione ship. SO please read, review, flame, follow, fav, anything! Flames make ma a better writer so please give your honest opinion. Thanks!  
P.S. The next chapter is being put up tomorrow and it's not as short. Updates can be either the next day or the next 5 days. School's starting Dx**

Dolores Umbridge, High Inquisitor aof Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry hated Harry Potter. She had to find a way to get rid of the blundering Half-Blood fool. Sprouting lies about the Dark Lord returning! How dare he? She thought that the dementors would solve the problem with The-Boy-Who-Lies but no, they didn't. How was she supposed to know that a incompatant 15 year old attention-seeking brat could preform a coporeal Partronus charm? Yes, she really needed to find a way to eliminate the very last of the Potters.  
o.o.O.o.o

She paced down the corridor of the 7th floor thinking, "Find a way for the Potter boy to tell the truth." She didn't know why she was in this particular corridor but something told her to come up here. After she had paced 3 times a Magnificent door appeared. Curious, Dolores opened the door to find a humongus golden room with a small but beautiful claw-footed table in it's very middle she walked forward to find a very thick tome. An orb lay beside iy, nestles in a soft purple pillow, outlined in gold. Dolores picked up the book to look at the tiny title when suddenly a voice rung throughout the room, echoing softly. She snapped her neck back and forth looking around they room for the intruder when she realised that the voice was spoken from the small, shimmering orb.

_"Dear Dolores. This book will giv you the truth about Harry Potter. Only the truth. You may not read it by youself, if you disobey my wishes the book shall perish, the truth gone, forever. You will gather all the ocupants of Hogwarts and the people I say below._ _If you do not gather __**every single person on this list**_, _you shall be cursed. You __**must **__read the book. Just remember, you asked for the truth and now you have it. I will give you enough time to read the title and then I will summon you a list."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I pitifully proclaim that I own none of this material, except the plot and some individual characters I brought to life through sharp words and vivid descriptions.**

**Whoa, that sounded deep.**

**A/n: New chapter, because the first was so annoyingly short. This is where everything goes insane. Enjoy, don't enjoy, doesn't matter! xD Oh and I need a beta! Up for the job? PM me! *sticks out tongue* Read and review Purdy Please. I'm sorry. I'm a bit crazy...thanks,**

**WeasleyIsMyKing7**

Dolores finally looked at the title of the book. It was called _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. _A book about Potter's life? That would include all his lies, secrets and mistakes? This would be Very interesting. She got to read every single detail of his life while proving he's a liar to the world. Dolores grinned evilly. This would be good.

o.o.O.o.o

After about 5 minutes the voice spoke again. This time she identified it as a male's voice, whom it belong to, she did not know_. "Dolores, I figured you've gathered your wits about this?" _ "Yes" she replied. _"Great now a parchment wil appear with names. You have to gather every single person, no matter how much you hate them. Thank you, HJP, RBW, HJW, FGW, GFW, GMP. _

Just then a parchment appeared, bearing the names...

_Albus Dumbledore, Aberforth Dumbledore, Alice Longbottom, Arabella Figg, Arthur Weasley, Bill Weasley, Cedric Diggory, Charlie Weasley, Dedalus Diggle, Dorcas Meadowes, Elphias Doge, Emmeline Vance, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, Fluer Delacour, Frank Longbottom, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione W-Granger, James Potter, Lily Evans, Marlene Mckinnion, Minerva McGonagall, Mundungus Fletcher, Nymphdora Tonks, Olympe Maxime, Remus Lupin, Ronald Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Severus Snape, Kingsley Shacklebolt, The Minister for Magic, Alastor Moody, Rita Skeeter, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Kreacher the House elf, Dobby the house elf,and Regulus Black. _

_Yes, I understand that half of these people have passed away or are insane but there's a spell that will bring them back. They will appear in the room shortly completely normal. Thanks again. _

After a moment or two Dolores heard a crack, there was a blast of white light and then every single person that was on the list appeared in the room. Everyone stared at each other in shock for a good five minutes before exclaimations of "Your Alive!" "What?" "Where the bloody Hell are we" "What is the meaning of this?" And every other sort of comment or question that was possible was made. Molly looked tearful at seeing Fabian and Gideon alive and well and she pushed through everyone and embraced them. Harry, Sirius and Remus were staring at Lily and James in shck, for not everyday your dead parents and best friends apperead in a room, alive.

Everyone was embrasing their loved ones and looking around until everyone looked at Umbridge. "Well isn't this a lovely surprise", she said in her sickly sweet voice. "It seems that there is a book...for all of us and the student body to read. It' about...Harry Potter."

Just then the orb spoke, again this time a Video erupted out of it onto a wall.

"_Hey guys! I bet your suprised! After all no one can bring back the dead...except if your the Brightest witch of the age and go by the name Hermione Weas- OUCH! What the bloody hell was that for?" _Young Hermione blushed as people stared at her. "You can bring back the dead?" She was bout to reply when a very pretty female said. _"Fredrick Weasley! See what you did! Your not supposed to tell them stuff like that! You just revealed that I can bring back the dead! Now Skeeter's going to have a field day about that! Why I married you-_She suddenly stopped. "_Oh shit, I shouldn't of said that. Well I'll just let Harrykins and Gin speak then, wait a few minutes everyone." _And then the orb shut off.

Young Hermione and Fred stared at each other awkwardly. Almost everyone except the people who didn't know either Fred or Hermione were grinning madly. "Well, Well, Well, never knew you went for the jokester type, Hermione." George smirked. "Although I have no idea why you didn't come to me, I am the better looking twin of course."

"Oi!" Fred yelled. "Don't go flirting with my wife...er- future wife...oh I dunno." He blushed and looked to the ground while Hermione did the same. After a few minutes of silence between everyone because everyone was staring at her or Fred, Hermione said, " So...Harrykins," she snorted "What do you think your gonna say?" Harry looked at her. "I dunno mate but what do you think _you're_ gonna say. Bringing back the dead, calling me 'Harrykins' marrying pranksters" He smirking "_Shagging _Prankters? What's going to happen with you next?" Everyone snorted excepted for The new future couple, who just glared at him. "What about you Harry? " Hermione said. "Think you'll be shagging a Weasley anytime soon?" It was Harry's turn to glare. After a staring contest which Harry Lost the orb lit up again.

_"Um sorry everyone..looks like Harry and Ginny are er- busy..." _The older Hermione blushed. "_So it looks like Fred -she glared to her right as a hand slid up her right leg- and I -she slapped the hand away- are going to explain. "_

George bursted out laughing. "Hey Older Fred? Hey I've always wanted to know - how's Hermione in bed?" Young Hermione went over and slapped him while Young Fred looked thoughtful, he kinda wanted to know the answer too.

Older Hermione looked Mortified. _"Fred...Don't you dare tell him what I think your about to tell him. He shouldn't even know about this yet...much less that!" _But Fred laughed and took the orb and ran. He ran into a room and locked the door, everyone coud hear Hermione screaming at him in the background. _"Well young Forge, you know how we're a package deal?" _

Young George nodded confused while some understood and grinned knowingly.

_"Well Mione took the package so you'll know in a few years although she is rather fantas -he was cut off from explaining the rest when a furious witch finally burst into the room. "GEORGE FABIAN WEASLEY GET IN HERE AND FREDRICK ONE MOVE AND I'LL MAKE IT SO YOU'LL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN, GEORGE WILL KEEP THAT HONOUR!" _

_An left earless George walked in the room holding a little bushy red-headed girl who was no older than 2. "Mione dearest, I thought I heard your dulcent tones. Is this for that prank Annabeth pulled on you, because even you have to admit that was some pretty great accidental magic for a 23month old, gets it from me of course..so when are you gonna start talking to yourselves from the past because Perce is coming over with Audrey and you know he hates the ide- oh." _He looked at the orb in Fred's hand and waved awkwardly. Hey...everyone -he took on a pained expression when he saw himself gaping at the hole in his head where his left ear once was. - "Looking dashing as ever, I am" he allowed himself a grin. "Uh this is Annabeth...who is going to go play with cousin Teddy, isn't that right Anna?" He looked at the girl who grinned and said very clearly for a 23 month old. "Daddy, Of course I play with Teddy and can I play with Jamie too?" She gave her father a innocent expression "Yeah, yeah but don't turn his teddy into a spider again, god he's worse than Ron" And with that, Annabeth skipped out of the room.

"Now that Anna is gone you, Fred and I can have a conversation. Sit!" Hermione said, conjuring up 2 chairs and pushed Fred and George into each of them and they both gulped loudly. "So George, guess what your horrible brother just did. -she didn't give him anytime to guess- HE TOLD EVERYONE, AND I MEAN EVERYONE , THAT I CAN BRING BACK THE DEAD AND AM MARRIED TO BOTH OF YOU AND NOW THEY ALL KNOW ABOUT ANNABETH I MEAN WE ALEADY KNEW THAT SINCE WE ARE WATCHING THIS CONVERSATION BUT WITH OURSELVES SENDING OURSELVES THIS MESSAGE THEN I WOULD HAVE ENDED UP SNOGGING RON OVER HOUSELVES AND WE WOULD HAVE HAD CHILDREN WHICH ONE OF WHOM I SUBTLEY AND UNBEKNOWNEST TO RON NAMED AFTER VIKTOR KRUM AND FRED WUOULD HAVE DIED AND REMUS AND TONKS AND COLIN AND SEVERUS AND LAV AND TEDDY WOULD HAVE BEEN A ORPHAN AND I WOULD HAVE ENDED ENDED UP BEING TORTURED AND HAVING 'MUDBLOOD' CARVED INTO ME AND RAPED AND THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED UTIL THE OPPOSITES OF OURSELVES CAME AND NOW IM CONFUSED AND YOU DONT CONFUSE A PREGNANT WOMAN FRED, GEORGE IM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH." She sighed heavily, said to Fred and George "Fix this, or you wont have anymore children, because I'm going to bed." and then walked out of the room, leaving a scared looking Fred and George behind her.

o.o.O.o.o

Meanwhile, everyone in the Past looked horrified, except for Umbridge. They had just found out that some of their friends and family died in the war and that Hermione had been raped and tortured in one period of time. George and Fred looked at each other and nodded, going to comfort their crying future wife. Umbridge was shocked. She thought that the book would prove Potter to be a lier, but maybe just maybe, she was wrong All she could do was read the book and find out. Harry looked at Hermione, who was crying over Fred and George. He loved her so much, she was like a sister to him. Was he their when she was tortured? He, Ron and Hermione were inseprable so he must have been there. How could he have let that happen? He needed to read this book. To find out everything. "OI, YOU LOT! SHUT IT! Okay, we need to read this book." He nodded to the projecton of future Fred and George. "Tell us what to do"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I pitifully proclaim that I own none of this material, except the plot and some individual characters I brought to life through sharp words and vivid descriptions.**

**A/N: Hey guys, this is mainly just a filler until Wednesday, then I'll write a longer chapter. Thanks for your support, and reviews. Reviews make my day :)**

After Harry had asked the future twins what to do they explained it very simply, using these exact words after they got over how scary Hermione looked_. "Well, I guess you gather the whole school and read the book. Although I have to warn you mate, it shows your exact thoughts." _At this Harry hesitated but if this book told the truth, then why would his thoughts be that bad of a thing? Everyone might find out about the cupboard incident yeah, but that was a small price to pay if he recieved knowledge that he isn't at all a lier. He decided that they better just go ahead and read the book right now. A couple of chapters a day and they might get this thing done soon. Fred and George then dissapeared from the orb, when Hermione went in the room, spitting out hasty goodbyes.

o.o.O.o.o

Harry looked to Ron who hadn't said anything since he saw his uncle's Fabian and Gideon were alive. Ron was looking straight at Hermione -who was through crying and was just laying in the Twins arms- sadly. Harry knew that Ron liked Hermione, maybe even loved her, and Hermione had requited his feelings at one point, but seeing the twins dote on her he saw that they loved her and she them, whether they knew it or not. He had caught Fred and George staring at her alot this year. And once or twice he caught Hermione gazing at them as though she thought they were gods. Even when she started yelling at them for 'tormenting' first years Harry knew her well enough to see that it was a half- hearted attempt. He understood why everyone liked her, he had himself a crush on her since his first to fourth years. She was smart, funny (at times) Beautiful on the inside and out and passionate about the things she loved like Spew, for instance. But Harry's crush on her had turned into just brotherly love. He was the closest thing that he had to actual family besides Sirius. She was related to him too. An only child, the person who everyone hated befor Hogwarts, raised by muggles. Those similarites made them more closer. Harry was torn by his thoughts as he heard a familiar and despised "Hem, Hem." He looked up to see Umbridge holding the book and she said. " We need to gather the children and Professors into this room and read this book."

o.o.O.o.o


	4. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! New chapter xD Since a reader scared me to death by saying and I quote "Update" In chapter one and "Update Now." The the second one. I'm my mind I imagined a weeping angel of some sort saying that...*Shivers* Not a very nice thought. But yea. Oh and I named George's and Hermione's daughter Annabeth, for Annabeth in the Percy Jackson series. This was actually just gonna be a Fremione fic but I changed it for some reason unknown the the universe and myself. Oh and for the sake of this fic the wizarding world lets people marry more than 1 person. I'm blabbering so bye. Read and Review! xD**

After Harry had asked the future twins what to do they explained it very simply, using these exact words after they got over how scary Hermione looked_. "Well, I guess you gather the whole school and read the book. Although I have to warn you mate, it shows your exact thoughts." _At this Harry hesitated but if this book told the truth, then why would his thoughts be that bad of a thing? Everyone might find out about the cupboard incident yeah, but that was a small price to pay if he recieved knowledge that he isn't at all a lier. He decided that they better just go ahead and read the book right now. A couple of chapters a day and they might get this thing done soon. Fred and George then dissapeared from the orb, when Hermione went in the room, spitting out hasty goodbyes.

o.o.O.o.o.

Harry looked to Ron who hadn't said anything since he saw his uncle's Fabian and Gideon were alive. Ron was looking straight at Hermione -who was through crying and was just laying in the Twins arms- sadly. Harry knew that Ron liked Hermione, maybe even loved her, and Hermione had requited his feelings at one point, but seeing the twins dote on her he saw that they loved her and she them, whether they knew it or not. He had caught Fred and George staring at her alot this year. And once or twice he caught Hermione gazing at them as though she thought they were gods. Even when she started yelling at them for 'tormenting' first years Harry knew her well enough to see that it was a half- hearted attempt. He understood why everyone liked her, he had himself a crush on her since his first to fourth years. She was smart, funny (at times) Beautiful on the inside and out and passionate about the things she loved like Spew, for instance. But Harry's crush on her had turned into just brotherly love. He was the closest thing that he had to actual family besides Sirius. She was related to him too. An only child, the person who everyone hated before Hogwarts, raised by muggles. Those similarites made them more closer. Harry was torn by his thoughts as he heard a familiar and despised "Hem, Hem." He looked up to see Umbridge holding the book and she said. " We need to gather the children and Professors into this room and read this book."

o.o.O.o.o

After Umbridge explained to the whole castle the circumstances surrounding the book every gatherin the the room, which seemed to grow bigger with every person that entered. Comfy sofas, chairs, loveseats, beanbags, lounge chairs soon filled the room. A huge banner desplayinh Hogwarts crest rested over a humongus golden fireplace that was so polished, you could see your reflection as perfectly as looking into a mirror. The table still sat in the middle of the room with the orb and the book, as Umbridge had set the book back for the time being. All of the seats were arranged to face the table. The room was filled with noisy chatter. Not everyone knew what was in this book. While some (Mostly Ravenclaws) knew that this book must be about Potter. For why would Umbridge look so excited if it weren't? It seemed to everyone that their DADA Professor had dedicated her life to prove Harry Potter a lier. After everyone was settled in properly it took about 10 minutes for the orb to light up again, projecting the older Fred, George and Hermione again but this time there was the whole Weasley family, with Harry and Annabeth and some kids they hadn't met yet. Everyone's attention was now on the projection.

o.o.O.o.o

"Annabeth!" said an older Hermione that just realised that her bushy hair had turned a blue that made Ravenclaw proud when her daughted pulled it. _"I swear your going to be just like your fathers! Why I married the biggest pranksters I have ever seen in my life I don't know! God I hope these turn out like me." _She said, puting a hand over her abdominal area. "Fred. Fix my hair before I murder my own child." she growled half-heartedly. "Yes Mione dearest." And with that her hair was brown once more.

"So Everyone!" The earless George Exclaimed loudly. "We are going to read a fantastic book about Harry James Potter today." He grinned "And when I say fantastic I mean dreadfully boring in most parts and utterly horrifying in others." He went grim and the older Harry stood up. "Alright, alright George stop trying to indicate how boring I am subtley. Because its not at all subtle! Now everyone we are going to be transported into your room -yes, all of us Hermione- and we are going to preform a spell that will make the book itself read to us and all." And with that he yelled and undentifyable word and they all were transported into the room.

o.o.O.o.o

"So How about we get on to the first chapter, eh?"

And Future Harry summoned the book, opened it and read.

**A/N: Sorry that it was late and the cliffhanger and stuff, but There are workers in my house tearing up the floor in my kitchen and my copy of the Deathly Hallows is in one of those cabenets and I cant go get it right now. Ugh :( Well Until next time**


End file.
